Squawk Sheets

[RoadRunner]

"Squawks" are problem listings that military pilots generally leave
for maintenance crews, and are normally accompanied by a response
from the maintenance worker once the problem is confirmed and/or fixed.

From the "Squawk Sheets":

Problem: "Left inside main tire almost needs replacement."
Solution: "Almost replaced left inside main tire."

Problem: "Test flight OK, except autoland very rough."
Solution: "Autoland not installed on this aircraft."

Problem #1: "#2 Propeller seeping prop fluid."
Solution #2: "#2 Propeller seepage normal."
Problem #2: "#1,#3 and #4 propellers lack normal seepage."

Problem: "The autopilot doesn't."
Solution: "IT DOES NOW"

Problem: "Something loose in cockpit."
Solution: "Something tightened in cockpit"

Problem: "Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing gear."
Solution: "Evidence removed."

Problem: "Number three engine missing"
Solution: "Engine found on right wing after brief search."

Problem: "DME volume unbelievably loud"
Solution: "Volume set to more believable level."

Problem: "Dead bugs on windshield."
Solution: "Live bugs on order."

Problem: "Autopilot in altitude hold mode produces a 200 fpm descent."
Solution: "Cannot reproduce problem on ground."

Problem: "IFF inoperative."
Solution: "IFF inoperative in OFF mode."

Problem: "Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick."
Solution: "That's what they're there for."