L8models
09-10-2007, 06:35 PM
The following is an actual question given on a University of
>Washington chemistry mid term.
>
>The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
>with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as
>well:
>
>Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
>(absorbs heat)?
>
>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
>(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
>variant.
>
>One student, however, wrote the following:
>
>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
>need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
>which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
>gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for
>how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions
>that exist in the world today.
>
>Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
>religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
>religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
>project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
>we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>
>Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
>Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
>the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
>added.
>
>This gives two possibilities:
>
>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
>enter
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
>
> Hell breaks loose.
>
>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>Hell,
> then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
>So which is it?
>
>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
>that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
>into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
>must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
>frozen over.
>The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
>follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
>extinct.....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
>being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>
>THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
>Washington chemistry mid term.
>
>The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it
>with colleagues, which is why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as
>well:
>
>Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
>(absorbs heat)?
>
>Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
>(gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
>variant.
>
>One student, however, wrote the following:
>
>First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
>need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
>which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul
>gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for
>how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions
>that exist in the world today.
>
>Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their
>religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
>religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can
>project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are,
>we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
>
>Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
>Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay
>the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are
>added.
>
>This gives two possibilities:
>
>1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
>enter
> Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all
>
> Hell breaks loose.
>
>2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>Hell,
> then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
>
>So which is it?
>
>If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
>that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take
>into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two
>must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already
>frozen over.
>The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
>follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore,
>extinct.....leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine
>being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
>
>THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.