Marcia Reed
10-10-2005, 07:50 PM
AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly
removed.:08Choke:
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while
you chop away.:Kill2:
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat by simply using the sink.:icon_blea :nasty:
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the
pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.:fing04:
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze button.:icon_slee
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.:idea2:
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a
hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.:Toothless
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of
life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and
Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the
WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct
tape.:2Doh:
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know
them.:Think:
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get
another chance.:icon_agre
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you
never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan:Zippit:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES..........
THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT..
THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.:icon_laug
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly
removed.:08Choke:
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while
you chop away.:Kill2:
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat by simply using the sink.:icon_blea :nasty:
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the
pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.:fing04:
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze button.:icon_slee
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.:idea2:
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a
hammer and you will forget all about the toothache.:Toothless
8. Sometimes, we just need to remember what the rules of
life really are: You only need two tools - WD-40 and
Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the
WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct
tape.:2Doh:
9. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know
them.:Think:
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get
another chance.:icon_agre
And finally, be really nice to your family and friends; you
never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan:Zippit:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES..........
THEY ARE NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT..
THEY STILL BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN YOU PUSH THEM DOWN A FLIGHT OF STAIRS.:icon_laug