L8models
11-12-2006, 07:46 PM
Mr. and Mrs.Fenton are retired. Mrs. Fenton insists that he go with her to Walmart. He gets bored with all the shopping. He prefers to get in and get out, but Mrs. Fenton loves to browse. Here's a letter sent to her from the store.
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.
Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Walmart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly
put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares
to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... and watched
what happened.
5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to
put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign
to a carpeted area.
7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll
bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him
him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people
just leave me alone?'
9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera;
used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
asked the clerk if he knows where to find the
antidepressants.
11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his
"Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the
loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and
screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And last, but not least ....
15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door
waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There
is no toilet paper in here!
Dear Mrs. Fenton,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and may ban both of you from our stores. We have documented all incidents on our video surveillance equipment. All complaints against Mr. Fenton are listed below.
Things Mr. Bill Fenton has done while his spouse was shopping in Walmart:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly
put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares
to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor
leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an
official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares... and watched
what happened.
5. Aug 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to
put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. Sept 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign
to a carpeted area.
7. Sept 15: Set up a tent in the camping department
and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll
bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. Sept 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him
him, he begins to cry and asks, 'Why can't you people
just leave me alone?'
9. Oct 4: Looked right into the security camera;
used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. Nov 10: While handling guns in the hunting department,
asked the clerk if he knows where to find the
antidepressants.
11. Dec 3: Darted around the store suspiciously
loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. Dec 6: In the auto department, practiced his
"Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Dec 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browse
through, yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. Dec 21: When an announcement came over the
loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and
screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
And last, but not least ....
15. Dec 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door
waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, "There
is no toilet paper in here!