ncrdbl1
09-25-2006, 08:23 PM
How do you get a ut grad off of your doorstep?
Pay for the pizza.
What does a ut grad call a Memphis grad?
Boss.
An ut WR, DE and LB are in a car, who is driving?
The police officer.
What do you get if you drive through ut campus slowly?
A diploma.
Why did they close the cooking department at ut?
The guy who knew how to make ice dropped out.
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A smart blonde, Santa Claus and a brilliant ut coach are in a car. The car has a wreck. Who was driving?
The brunette... Hair dye is the only way any of those exist!
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Little Johnny was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up ---fireman, policeman, salesman, etc...
Little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offers really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little Johnny aside to ask him,
"Is that really true about your father?
"No," said Little Johnny, "He coaches football at U.T., but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
.................................................. .................................................. ...
A first grade teacher in Knoxville, Tennessee explained to her class that
she was a Tennessee fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if they too were Tennessee fans. Everyone in the class raised their hand except for one little girl.
The teacher looked at the little girl with surprise and said, "Brooke, why
didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I am not a Tennessee fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well if your not a Tennessee fan, what
kind of fan are you?
"I'm a Memphis Tiger fan." Brooke replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. " Brooke, WHY are you a Memphis
Tiger fan?"
Because my mom is a Memphis Tiger fan, my dad is a Memphis Tiger fan, and my big sister is a Memphis Tiger fan, so I am a Memphis Tiger fan also.
"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, " that is no reason
for you to be a Memphis Tiger fan. You don't have to be like your parents and sister all the time. What if your mother and sister were snotty, arrogant jackasses and your dad was also a snotty, arrogant jackass, what would you be then?"
"Then," Brooke smiled, " we''d be Tennessee fans."
Pay for the pizza.
What does a ut grad call a Memphis grad?
Boss.
An ut WR, DE and LB are in a car, who is driving?
The police officer.
What do you get if you drive through ut campus slowly?
A diploma.
Why did they close the cooking department at ut?
The guy who knew how to make ice dropped out.
.................................................. .................................................. .....
A smart blonde, Santa Claus and a brilliant ut coach are in a car. The car has a wreck. Who was driving?
The brunette... Hair dye is the only way any of those exist!
.................................................. .................................................. ..
Little Johnny was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up ---fireman, policeman, salesman, etc...
Little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offers really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and make love with him for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took Little Johnny aside to ask him,
"Is that really true about your father?
"No," said Little Johnny, "He coaches football at U.T., but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."
.................................................. .................................................. ...
A first grade teacher in Knoxville, Tennessee explained to her class that
she was a Tennessee fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if they too were Tennessee fans. Everyone in the class raised their hand except for one little girl.
The teacher looked at the little girl with surprise and said, "Brooke, why
didn't you raise your hand?"
"Because I am not a Tennessee fan," she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, "Well if your not a Tennessee fan, what
kind of fan are you?
"I'm a Memphis Tiger fan." Brooke replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. " Brooke, WHY are you a Memphis
Tiger fan?"
Because my mom is a Memphis Tiger fan, my dad is a Memphis Tiger fan, and my big sister is a Memphis Tiger fan, so I am a Memphis Tiger fan also.
"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, " that is no reason
for you to be a Memphis Tiger fan. You don't have to be like your parents and sister all the time. What if your mother and sister were snotty, arrogant jackasses and your dad was also a snotty, arrogant jackass, what would you be then?"
"Then," Brooke smiled, " we''d be Tennessee fans."